but God Bless Lakehead University!
Sure, it lacks both taste and respect for the leader of the free world. But I definitely don't think it's 'repugnant' - as the president of Lakehead's Students' Union does. That's right. Students are the ones criticizing this recruitment campaign, which the administration not only endorses...but refuses to retract!
In other news, my apartment is currently in a state of chaos, as I'm getting ready for my move to Ottawa tomorrow. Why....oh why....do I own so much crap when I move so often?
8.24.2006
Farewell, Dear Friend.
Is anyone else upset that Pluto is no longer a planet?! Or even about the way in which its prestigious planetary designation was so ruthlessly revoked?
I’m all for democracy…but we didn’t take a vote to decide if the earth was flat or round. Today, astronomers gathered in Prague defined the namesake of my favourite Disney character out of the text books. How exactly are historians of the future supposed to treat this subject? Nobody is going to care about the dwarf planets. Is society so determined to place everyone and everything it encounters into discrete categories that we’ve now become planetary racists? How is this new category going to be received by members of our own society who are short in stature – for surely they are not lesser people. I for one was happy to admit Pluto into our solar systemic family regardless of its elliptical orbit. And if allowing Pluto into the family meant inviting 50 more, so be it. We could have started celebrating the diversity of our solar system. Perhaps with festivals and parades.
If you ask me, this is all part of Bush’s plan to stimulate the sagging economy. Posters, planetary models, school textbooks – they all need to be reprinted.
In honour of Pluto’s planetary passing, I think it only appropriate to mark the occasion with a little revamping of an old classic. In fact, I think if August Stringberg were here himself he would reinterpret his own words on conceptions of masculinity in much the same way. I call it….
Pluto
Yes, I am crying, although I am a dwarf planet.
But has not a dwarf planet three moons?
Does it not live peacefully in the same milky way?
Is it not wounded by the same weapons…warmed and cooled by the same sun?
If you prick me, I will bleed some spacey substance.
If you tickle me, I will chuckle. Perhaps heartily.
If you poison me, I will die.
Why should a planet be forbidden to
Complain, or its clouds to weep?
Because I am unplanetary?
Why am I unplanetary?
Planetary Pluto: 1930 - 2006May it Orbit In Peace
8.23.2006
8.05.2006
It's Not That Hot Anymore!!!
They are currently renovating Library and Archives Canada, and for some reason they’re switching the archival space on the third floor with the library on the second. While the point of these renovations escapes me entirely, I am reaping some substantial benefits from the consultation room’s reduced hours of operation. It’s okay for you to be gushing with joy right now, for I too was excited upon being informed of this development. Instead of sacrificing an hour of work every day and leaving the archives with a lot of guilt around 9:30/10pm, I now get kicked out at 8pm EVERYDAY for the rest of my research. Despite the insane amount of noise that the work crews make, and the barren bookshelves which surround me, I’m definitely happy with the new arrangements.
Now, if I could just figure out how to get there before 10am every morning…I’d be set.
News to report. You, Me and Dupree is by far the worst movie I’ve ever seen. It’s even worse than Army of Darkness (sorry Matt, Ann Marie, and Holly…). I’m usually committed enough to a movie – no matter how appalling – to stick it out until the end. This was not one of those movies. But I saw it with Chris about a week ago, and didn’t want to haul him out of the theatre, so I watched in silent pain. As it happens, so did Chris. In an effort to avoid feeling like I’d wasted my time completely, I thought about my grocery list, whether I should buy a bike or roller blades to navigate the paths and streets of Ottawa if I move here, and the meaning of life. While I’m sure that my answers to both the first and last subjects will only bore you, I think I’ve settled on the roller blades. I’m a little worried that I may die in the event I need to brake (suddenly or otherwise), but let’s face it…they’re cheaper, and I’m cheap *cough* unemployed.
Other news. I exchanged very stern words with a very senior member of the Environmental Health department for the Ottawa Region [whose name/position shall remain anonymous for fear of a lawsuit] yesterday. He refused to release the rabies vaccine to me because Kingston Public Health didn’t have a record of my initial vaccination, and I refused [Seriously, I’ve never been this firm with anyone in my entire life…] to leave his office until he did something about this that would result in me getting a needle in my arm. You see, yesterday was day 3 in my 28-day series, and I needed another hit of HDCV. My brief and tumultuous courtship with Ottawa Public Health started on Thursday morning, when I started leaving messages for people in various departments at the instruction of the Public Health Nurse. I figured it would take a couple of hours to get everything straightened out. I called back, and kept getting the same answering machines that I had left my information on earlier in the day. I let it slide. I called back yesterday morning, and kept getting connected to answering machines. I spoke to the receptionist and got directions to Ottawa Public Health. I stayed calm until the Director’s assistant said there was nothing they could do for me. At this point, I waved my immunization record in his face and told him he didn’t have a choice. They had been calling Kingston Public Health, even though Kingston Public Health doesn’t store or administer the rabies vaccine. Unlike Ottawa, it is stored in Emergency Rooms. As I said in MY VOICE MESSAGES, I was a patient at Kingston General Hospital, and THEY gave me the number for Kingston Public Health so that I could get the contact info for Ottawa Public Health. Clearly, my records are going to be at KGH. By the time I actually got to meet with the director and laid out the different administrative policies of the two regions for him before telling him to listen to his voicemail a little closer and call the emergency department at THE HOSPITAL, it was 11:30. By the time I finally found myself a family doctor to whom the director could release the vaccine, it was closer to 1:30. By the time I picked up the vials, transported them to the office, made appointments for my next series and got my needle for day 3, it was 3pm. So…all in all…it took me 7 hours to get this straightened out. But the staff at KGH assured me it would only take about 30 minutes. The point of this story is that Ottawa’s bureaucracy is not limited to the Hill.
However, I do want to give a shout-out to [unnamed woman who works part-time for Ottawa Public Health] who actually restored my faith in humanity yesterday. She gave up her lunch hour to take me to her family doctor when she found me frantically trying to track down a doctor who could accommodate my situation. When she stumbled upon me, I was on my eleventh quarter. And she was adamant that I not mention the help she gave me to anyone, as she was worried she would lose her job for associating with a client outside of the office. I hesitate to think about how much longer things would’ve taken had this 64 year old woman – who clearly had special needs – not helped me out. And the BEST part is she said she was only helping me because she could tell I was a “gentle person” from the way I stayed completely calm when speaking with the staff. Admittedly, while I did let them know I understood that they couldn’t just release 3 vials of vaccine to me and that we needed to figure out a solution to the problem no matter how long it took, I was definitely NOT calm. I actually thought that I was being a tad too aggressive, but I seriously needed this vaccine yesterday. The fact that the man who was in line behind me COMPLETELY lost his cool definitely helped make me look “gentle.” I also think that I stayed calm only because I’ve worked in customer service before, and I know that I’m much more willing to help someone when they treat me like a person instead of a some administrative assistant. While I’m sure that this remark has angered the Association for Administrative Professionals, they’ll just have to deal with it.
Sigh. Rant’s over. If you made it this far, I commend you. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
In case you haven’t been able to tell, my postings have been less-than-regular because I don’t usually have access to the internet. As I’m in Ottawa until 22 August, expect to hear from me sporadically. You will hear from me when word arrives from the Kiwis. If that posting doesn’t come soon, just assume that I’m frothing at the mouth across the desk from another Ottawa bureaucrat. And this one hasn’t answered my e-mails or taken my phone calls for over a week.
I’m heading to the hills….of Gatineau…to go hiking with Chris now. Woot! It’s a mental health day!
Now, if I could just figure out how to get there before 10am every morning…I’d be set.
News to report. You, Me and Dupree is by far the worst movie I’ve ever seen. It’s even worse than Army of Darkness (sorry Matt, Ann Marie, and Holly…). I’m usually committed enough to a movie – no matter how appalling – to stick it out until the end. This was not one of those movies. But I saw it with Chris about a week ago, and didn’t want to haul him out of the theatre, so I watched in silent pain. As it happens, so did Chris. In an effort to avoid feeling like I’d wasted my time completely, I thought about my grocery list, whether I should buy a bike or roller blades to navigate the paths and streets of Ottawa if I move here, and the meaning of life. While I’m sure that my answers to both the first and last subjects will only bore you, I think I’ve settled on the roller blades. I’m a little worried that I may die in the event I need to brake (suddenly or otherwise), but let’s face it…they’re cheaper, and I’m cheap *cough* unemployed.
Other news. I exchanged very stern words with a very senior member of the Environmental Health department for the Ottawa Region [whose name/position shall remain anonymous for fear of a lawsuit] yesterday. He refused to release the rabies vaccine to me because Kingston Public Health didn’t have a record of my initial vaccination, and I refused [Seriously, I’ve never been this firm with anyone in my entire life…] to leave his office until he did something about this that would result in me getting a needle in my arm. You see, yesterday was day 3 in my 28-day series, and I needed another hit of HDCV. My brief and tumultuous courtship with Ottawa Public Health started on Thursday morning, when I started leaving messages for people in various departments at the instruction of the Public Health Nurse. I figured it would take a couple of hours to get everything straightened out. I called back, and kept getting the same answering machines that I had left my information on earlier in the day. I let it slide. I called back yesterday morning, and kept getting connected to answering machines. I spoke to the receptionist and got directions to Ottawa Public Health. I stayed calm until the Director’s assistant said there was nothing they could do for me. At this point, I waved my immunization record in his face and told him he didn’t have a choice. They had been calling Kingston Public Health, even though Kingston Public Health doesn’t store or administer the rabies vaccine. Unlike Ottawa, it is stored in Emergency Rooms. As I said in MY VOICE MESSAGES, I was a patient at Kingston General Hospital, and THEY gave me the number for Kingston Public Health so that I could get the contact info for Ottawa Public Health. Clearly, my records are going to be at KGH. By the time I actually got to meet with the director and laid out the different administrative policies of the two regions for him before telling him to listen to his voicemail a little closer and call the emergency department at THE HOSPITAL, it was 11:30. By the time I finally found myself a family doctor to whom the director could release the vaccine, it was closer to 1:30. By the time I picked up the vials, transported them to the office, made appointments for my next series and got my needle for day 3, it was 3pm. So…all in all…it took me 7 hours to get this straightened out. But the staff at KGH assured me it would only take about 30 minutes. The point of this story is that Ottawa’s bureaucracy is not limited to the Hill.
However, I do want to give a shout-out to [unnamed woman who works part-time for Ottawa Public Health] who actually restored my faith in humanity yesterday. She gave up her lunch hour to take me to her family doctor when she found me frantically trying to track down a doctor who could accommodate my situation. When she stumbled upon me, I was on my eleventh quarter. And she was adamant that I not mention the help she gave me to anyone, as she was worried she would lose her job for associating with a client outside of the office. I hesitate to think about how much longer things would’ve taken had this 64 year old woman – who clearly had special needs – not helped me out. And the BEST part is she said she was only helping me because she could tell I was a “gentle person” from the way I stayed completely calm when speaking with the staff. Admittedly, while I did let them know I understood that they couldn’t just release 3 vials of vaccine to me and that we needed to figure out a solution to the problem no matter how long it took, I was definitely NOT calm. I actually thought that I was being a tad too aggressive, but I seriously needed this vaccine yesterday. The fact that the man who was in line behind me COMPLETELY lost his cool definitely helped make me look “gentle.” I also think that I stayed calm only because I’ve worked in customer service before, and I know that I’m much more willing to help someone when they treat me like a person instead of a some administrative assistant. While I’m sure that this remark has angered the Association for Administrative Professionals, they’ll just have to deal with it.
Sigh. Rant’s over. If you made it this far, I commend you. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
In case you haven’t been able to tell, my postings have been less-than-regular because I don’t usually have access to the internet. As I’m in Ottawa until 22 August, expect to hear from me sporadically. You will hear from me when word arrives from the Kiwis. If that posting doesn’t come soon, just assume that I’m frothing at the mouth across the desk from another Ottawa bureaucrat. And this one hasn’t answered my e-mails or taken my phone calls for over a week.
I’m heading to the hills….of Gatineau…to go hiking with Chris now. Woot! It’s a mental health day!
8.01.2006
Just call me Batman.
It’s hot.
Now…I’m sure that some of you out there in reader-land are asking: “In that kind of heat, why does that even matter?” I too once thought along these lines. That is, until last Tuesday when a bat flew in through my open window at around 3:30am. Yes, friends. A bat. If you want to see Brad Clark wake up and hit the floor faster than a speeding bullet, put a LARGE and SCARY flying organism in his bedroom.
It took about 15 minutes for my heart rate to return to normal, and about an hour for me to fall back asleep. Luckily, no beds were soiled in the making of this memory. And let me assure you, I think of it every night before climbing the stairs to sleep in my tower.
[Editor’s Note: The above passage was written about 5 hours ago. While typing, I remembered my conversation with Sara and her girlfriend Erin earlier today about how Erin had to get vaccinated for rabies after being exposed to a bat in NY state. I called TeleHealth Ontario and told them that a bat flew into my room about a week ago. After their usual prodding questions and a close examination of my own two feet, they told me to go to the Emergency Room immediately. And they emphasized the immediately. Apparently…bats don’t usually wake people up before or during a bite. It’s the “HA HA I BIT YOU” flapping routine that they like to do after they’ve feasted on your unsuspicious body that wakes you up. At this point, bat bites look and feel exactly like those of a mosquito - and as I don’t have a screen on my window, you can imagine how many of those I have. Well…long story short is that my bum is now very sore. I just got 5 needles at KGH, and have to get four more over the course of the next 28 days. So…I’m actually NOT going back to Ottawa tonight, but will make my way there sometime tomorrow. At which point, I need to figure out where I can score my next hit.]
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