Just call me Batman.

It’s hot.

Correction: It’s very hot. Like…forty-eight degrees with the humidex hot, and I’m about to drive myself back to Ottawa, where I will bake in my third floor bedroom that doesn’t have a screen on its window.

Now…I’m sure that some of you out there in reader-land are asking: “In that kind of heat, why does that even matter?” I too once thought along these lines. That is, until last Tuesday when a bat flew in through my open window at around 3:30am. Yes, friends. A bat. If you want to see Brad Clark wake up and hit the floor faster than a speeding bullet, put a LARGE and SCARY flying organism in his bedroom.

It took about 15 minutes for my heart rate to return to normal, and about an hour for me to fall back asleep. Luckily, no beds were soiled in the making of this memory. And let me assure you, I think of it every night before climbing the stairs to sleep in my tower.

[Editor’s Note: The above passage was written about 5 hours ago. While typing, I remembered my conversation with Sara and her girlfriend Erin earlier today about how Erin had to get vaccinated for rabies after being exposed to a bat in NY state. I called TeleHealth Ontario and told them that a bat flew into my room about a week ago. After their usual prodding questions and a close examination of my own two feet, they told me to go to the Emergency Room immediately. And they emphasized the immediately. Apparently…bats don’t usually wake people up before or during a bite. It’s the “HA HA I BIT YOU” flapping routine that they like to do after they’ve feasted on your unsuspicious body that wakes you up. At this point, bat bites look and feel exactly like those of a mosquito - and as I don’t have a screen on my window, you can imagine how many of those I have. Well…long story short is that my bum is now very sore. I just got 5 needles at KGH, and have to get four more over the course of the next 28 days. So…I’m actually NOT going back to Ottawa tonight, but will make my way there sometime tomorrow. At which point, I need to figure out where I can score my next hit.]

In other news, I’m still hot.